They say people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. In so many ways this is a beautiful thought, because you can always be thankful for all the people who enter your life, no matter how brief. Often we mourn the relationships that change or that have ended, but realistically nothing is meant to last forever. People change; relationships evolve; the ebb & flow of life brings new friends, partners & lovers into your life. It's all part of the natural process of growing, learning & well, loving. It can be difficult to come to terms with the idea that someone you hold near & dear to your heart may no longer be part of your life, but think of all the experiences, lessons & beauty they brought to you. They enriched your life in so many ways & wasn't it your good fortune to have met them at all? Better to have loved & lost...
And just think of all the lessons you learned from all those hurtful, frustrating & volatile relationships that entered your life. Man, if there ever was an opportunity for growth & clarity, it's through those challenging situations (& people) that make you aware of what you do & do not want in your life. You kind of have to give them all a great big thank you, & not sarcastically or begrudgingly, but an honest, heart-felt thank you. For those people who were difficult & made your life more challenging don't mean to hurt you, if anything they're probably lacking in something themselves. What ever it might be, be it respect, peace, or love, how can one possibly offer you something they are in need of themselves? We all have our own burdens to bare & don't often recognize each other's struggles. The best we can do for people who have brought some negativity into our lives is wish them well & say farewell. Let's hope they find happiness, because it's something we all want & deserve. And truly be thankful for having known them, & for the valuable things they made us learn about ourselves.
I am quite lucky to have some very enduring friendships in my life --some lasting decades. But of course through them all, we as individuals evolve & change, & quite possibly become closer to others. I do have to say those very meaningful relationships have shaped who I am today, & for better or worse, I wouldn't change that. And as for lovers, well they have added to this beautiful experiment we call life as well. Quite honestly I don't regret any of my love relationships, if anything my only thought is that I truly hope they knew how much I appreciated them while they were in my life. Because more than anything that is what matters. Truly loving & appreciating deeply, saying & showing it. And in the end, it really is your relationships with others that matter most. Who was important to you? Who were you important to? Who will miss you when you're gone? Whose life did you make a difference in?
It's easy to resist allowing people in your life. It's certainly a challenge to allow yourself to be open, vulnerable & exposed.
But one can also never predict what role someone may play in your life, will it be for a reason, a season or a lifetime?
There's only one way to find out, my friends.
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ~Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum
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